Coming too quickly is common, and around one in three of ALL men are dealing with some form of premature ejaculation. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that, out of 1,200 male participants, around 30% of them felt they finished too quickly during sex and were dissatisfied with how long they lasted.
Sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight says that it's a very common issue and one of the main sexual anxieties men have. She explains, "Most men have no idea that lots of guys ejaculate within two minutes of penetration and plenty more only last four minutes."
There are number of ways that men can last longer - here are 11 tips for a healthy, satisfying sex life.
1. Find a position that works for you
There are positions, such as spooning, that can help men last longer. Annabelle says to lie side-by-side with the woman in front, and allow the man to enter the woman from behind. Gently rock together until you both reach climax.
"This is an intimate position and it helps him to last longer because the penetration is quite shallow, ensuring he is not overstimulated. It also forces you to move slowly and subtly, since he's likely to fall out if he gets too enthusiastic."
2. Think about what's causing any anxiety
Many men worry about their ability in bed and this can lead to performance anxiety. According to Krystal Woodbridge, a psychosexual therapist at the College of Sexual Relationship Therapists (COSRT), men often feel like they need to act in a certain way, maintain an erection and take charge of the situation - and for some men this can be intimidating. "Think about what is causing your anxiety - it's important to pinpoint what is it your scared of," says Krystal.
3. Try to control your orgasm through 'peaking'
Annabelle says 'peaking', the key activity in tantric sex, is an excellent way of improving both male and female sexual performance.
"Men can get better control of arousal by pinpointing their personal point of no return and learning how to stay just below that during sex. They then build up again to the point of climax and refrain once again. Doing this regularly allows men to gain better control of their orgasm and last longer in bed. It's also fun to get almost there and rest - making the final orgasm even more explosive."
You can both practise 'peaking' together - each almost reaching the point of no return together before resting. The dream scenario is that you both eventually climax together in a simultaneous orgasm, says Annabelle.
4. Delay sprays
Desensitising creams and sprays temporarily relieve premature ejaculation. They cause a temporary local numbness, which delays ejaculation and allows for a longer-lasting sexual encounter. Annabelle says:
"These are now quite effective and inexpensive... Lovehoney do an excellent delay lubricant, which helps to desensitise the penis and helps him last longer."
5. Wear a condom
As well as all the other benefits of condoms, they can also help delaying ejaculation because it adds another layer of friction. Annabelle advises:
"Even with the thinnest condom, the sensation is reduced a little and this allows men to last a little longer. Please remember that even with the very best brands, the thinner the condom, the more likely it is to tear, so be careful and check the condom mid-sex if you are worried that it might have ripped."
6. Masturbate more
Masturbating more can work both for and against you with premature ejaculation.
"Do it just before a sex session and you'll last longer with your partner if you have sex a few hours later. The chances are your orgasm second time around won't be quite as intense."
7. Don't feel rushed into having sex with someone new
A lot of young men worry about dating someone new and don't want to have the embarrassment of coming too quickly, says Krystal.
"If you're really worried and don't feel like you can trust that person to understand, question if you want to have sex with them in the first place. If you aren't comfortable enough to have the conversation, maybe you aren't comfortable enough to be intimate with them."
8. Practice female-focused foreplay
Sex doesn't always have to equal penetration, so focus on more female-focused foreplay. "Lots of women want that any way," says Krystal. "You can focus on other ways of being intimate with someone - there's no rule to say they have to have penetrative sex."
9. Include some sex toys
"Love rings are the most popular couples' sex toys in the world," says Annabelle.
"They are worn around the penis during lovemaking - allowing him to last longer by restricting the blood flow at the base of the penis and also providing added stimulation for her through the ring rubbing against the clitoris. A good basic silicone ring can be bought for as little as a tenner. If you want to spice things up further, vibrating love rings are very popular and provide added stimulation during lovemaking."
10. Viagra is an option - but not the only one
Viagra shouldn't be the only solution because it isn't really practical and doesn't address the underlying issue, says Krystal.
"Some people find it really helpful because it can help them get over that initial worry of being with a new partner - and it may be what's needed to give them a boost. But it's still important to treat the underlying cause, and not just the symptoms."
11. Contact a psychosexual therapist
To find a sex therapist near you, contact the COSRT. "There's a therapy directory there, so it's easy to find someone in your local area," says Krystal.
Annabelle Knight has her own range of sex toys at Lovehoney.
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