7 reasons why this toymaker believes it's good for kids to be bored

You may not have heard of Melissa Bernstein but if you have kids you'll definitely know Melissa & Doug, the leading US toymaker which puts a modern spin on traditional (mainly wooden) toys.

It would make sense then for Melissa to push parents to buy, buy, buy the products she and husband Doug have been selling for 25 years but that's not necessarily the case.

The mother of six is leading a movement: Take Back Childhood, because of her concerns that parents are unwittingly stifling a generation of children with over-scheduling and constant digital distraction.

Melissa wants us all to champion childhood. She says that for kids to develop into healthy adults, it's crucial they're allowed a large amount of unstructured down time. No TV, no ballet, no football, and definitely no screens. She believes children need time to imagine, create, explore, and think. If kids aren't able to play on their own terms, but are funnelled into a demanding routine of activities outside school, she argues they're at risk of not reaching their full potential.

"In a joint poll with Gallup, we found that less than one in five British parents (19%) strongly agree it's good for kids to be bored and have to figure out how to entertain themselves from time to time.

"This leads to overscheduling of activities or frequent time in front of a screen to keep kids occupied. This is a concern because research is starting to show rising rates of anxiety and depression in young people, which is being attributed to the stresses of our performance-based culture and the lack of meaningful connections in a social-media-fueled world."

Here, Melissa explains why we should reimagine what success looks like for our children.

1. Boredom triggers creativityI was often bored during my childhood, and I had to rely on my imagination to fill the blank canvas. With boredom came a feeling of dread, but that was almost immediately followed by this amazing sense of discovery as I realised I could think freely and use my imagination to fight the boredom.

Boredom forces you to look inward and outward. It compels you to try new things, and it ultimately helps you find your passion. Today, it's far too easy to turn to our phones and tablets to deal with boredom.

2. You learn when left aloneWhen kids are left alone to play together freely they learn the 4c's – communication, collaboration, creativity and critical thinking. It's these qualities that educators say are essential for success.

3. Appreciate the benefits of playIn our research, we found that while parents understand child-led play fosters creativity and problem-solving, they neglect to associate it with other skills it develops.

Research shows play promotes self-confidence, social and cognitive skills, resilience, and more. I would argue children are going to get more out of the hours they spend freely playing, rather than hours spent following an adult's direction while perfecting skills that may not even be connected to their passions.

4. A bored kid does not make you a bad parentParents often feel compelled to structure and fill their children's time with sport and structured activities they believe will give them an advantage.

In her book, How To Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims refers to this racking up of activities and accomplishments as "the check-listed childhood."

Too many of us equate being busy with being successful. And while some of us may recognise the value of a more child-led, free-play approach and would welcome a slower pace, it can be difficult to step off the roller coaster. We worry that we will be viewed as bad parents.

Your effectiveness is not measured by how many activities you can line up for your child – it is about preparing your child to be comfortable with occasional discomfort and to find ways to navigate through it.

Resist the urge to beat yourself up about those complaints of boredom or to jump in and try to "fix" the problem.

Let your children lead their own play. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but have faith in your child to find their own way.

5. Boredom leads to a sense of self
Childhood is preparing for adulthood in a safe and nurturing environment. When we structure our kids' time, their brains and bodies develop with no sense of self and they are deprived of having time to think for themselves and develop critical skills. The only way we will find a passion and purpose in life is if we're allowed time to play and to discover and explore a future for ourselves.

6. Give your child a 'play-full' lifeIn our office recently, we discussed what it means to Take Back Childhood and how we might encourage our kids to lead lives that are enriched by imagination, creativity, and discovery.

We shared memories of how we played after school and in and out of friend's houses and gardens, and how we recalled it as a time of great happiness and freedom.

This type of play is mostly missing today, and we need to ask what sort of environment we want for our kids.

7. Play doesn't go on a CV, but that's okayIt's hard to quantify just how beneficial child-led play is. But if we are committed to setting up our kids for successful, fulfilling lives, we need to take a step back from relentlessly chasing after skills, badges, and awards, and focus on giving them the opportunities for play that are going to encourage them to become open-ended, creative thinkers.