Some parents try to make choices for their children when it comes to marriage? A great number of young people stress that they won’t take that while others argue that whether we like it or not parents affect our choices directly or indirectly. The issue is how far this parental influence should go
Looking back to some decades, arranged marriage was a common tradition in various societies. Arranged marriage is a martial union where the bride and groom are selected other and it was common worldwide until 18th century. During those days, the parents were considered to be responsible for selecting a wife for their son and a husband for their daughter. Today things have changed drastically; individual find and select their own spouses without parents interfering. Nevertheless, some societies still practice this norm till date.
Blessing Moses, a medical student in her mid-20s, is of the view that children because we are in the 21th century and things have changed: “I believe most of our parents’ marriage were arranged and back in those days it wasn’t a problem as most of them had little or no idea what love was all about, contrary to that, young people of nowadays mostly marry for love’s sake. For example in honestly don’t see myself marrying someone I don’t have feelings for. I won’t let my parent select a husband for me whatsoever. I am old enough to choose the man I think is best for me. All I need from tem is to bless my marriage and accept the man I choose as their son in-law.
Muhammed Nurudden, 30- year old civil servant, sees absolutely nothing wrong with one's parent choosing a partner for him or her. He added that nothing compares to a parent's love for his child and therefore they wouldn't choose what is bad for their children. "Personally, I respect my parents and having it at the back of my mind that they would not choose anything that would harm or destroy my life. Considering choosing a life partner for me honestly I don't use it as something to get upset about. It has been revealed in our religion and it states in the holy Qur'an that we should obey our parents no matter the situation except if what they are demanding is against the teaching of our prophet and Islam, he argued. Nurudeen added that his parents choose his wife for him even though he had no feelings for her then but today he is proud to call her the mother of his kids, his parents’ choice he believes is nothing but a blessing to him.
Ogechi Ugunna, an undergraduate in her early 20s despises the idea of parents choosing a partner for their children. She explain that thing has changed and people now marry based on love: "why would my parents pick my husband for me, for what There is no way I will let that happen, if their parents chose for them, they can't choose for me now because they WSU things were done back then is different from now. For crying out loud this is the 21st century."
Ahmed observed that is some cases, people whose parents picked spouses for tended to be happier than those met and fell in love with themselves. She called on women to accept the choice of their parents as it pays off eventually: "I would choose a husband for my daughter because as her mother, I am in the best position to know what is good for her. But for my son, I won't choose a wife for him rather I will just guide him through getting a decent good wife"
Christine, a 23 year old law student, says she doesn't care if her parents pick a husband for her. Whatever the case maybe, she is good to go with their decision: "I am presently single and I still have a couple of more years to around up my education. However, when the time comes for me to settle down, if I have a responsible suitor, I'll ho for him otherwise I will be fine with my parents choosing a spouse for me. I believe in density and that it can’t be changed, it can only be delayed. God has already chosen my husband for me, it doesn’t matter if he comes through my parents or not. One thing I believe is love grows. If I marry a man I don’t love I know I will grow to love him as time goes by. I suggest people should just pray to God for a good partner, focus on being the right man or women and trust me everything will fall into place. I have seen countless people who get married for love but just a few years later, everything came crumbling down.”
What is your say on this?
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